Image 1 of 1
Image 1 of 1
Image 1 of 1
Image 1 of 1
2021
8 × 10 in.
Acrylic on Canvas
Original / 1 of 1
This painting started with something I heard in Princess Mononoke that stayed with me long after the movie ended.
There is a moment involving one of the men living at Iron Town that made me think about suffering differently. The idea that life is suffering sounds incredibly bleak when you first hear it.
But for some reason, it didn't make me feel hopeless.
It made me think.
I drew myself from the side and filled the inside of my head with the thoughts that came from that moment. The words follow the shape of my brain because that is where they were living anyway.
Life is suffering.
There is betrayal, loss, pain, fear, anger, doubt, and things that happen to us that we never asked for.
Sometimes the world can feel meaningless.
But somehow, even knowing all of that, we continue finding reasons to stay.
That contradiction fascinated me.
If life were supposed to be painless, then every terrible experience would feel like evidence that something had gone wrong.
But maybe pain isn't proof that life has failed.
Maybe pain is simply part of being alive.
And if suffering is part of life, then happiness doesn't have to mean the absence of suffering either.
You can hurt and still laugh.
You can lose someone and eventually love someone else.
You can hate where your life is at one moment and be incredibly grateful for it at another.
You can feel completely lost and still eventually find something worth moving toward.
I think that's what I was trying to understand when I painted this.
The sentence “life is suffering” isn't where the thought ends.
For me, the more important question became:
If life contains suffering, what makes it worth continuing anyway?
And I don't think there is one answer.
Sometimes it's another person.
Sometimes it's an animal.
Sometimes it's love.
Sometimes it's a place you haven't seen yet.
Sometimes it's something you haven't created yet.
Sometimes it's something incredibly small that you don't even know is waiting for you tomorrow.
I didn't paint myself with an answer written across my face.
I painted the questions inside my head because I was still trying to understand them.
I think I still am.
Maybe I always will be.
But over time I have realized that meaning isn't necessarily something life automatically gives you.
Sometimes you have to find your own reasons to keep living.
2021
8 × 10 in.
Acrylic on Canvas
Original / 1 of 1
This painting started with something I heard in Princess Mononoke that stayed with me long after the movie ended.
There is a moment involving one of the men living at Iron Town that made me think about suffering differently. The idea that life is suffering sounds incredibly bleak when you first hear it.
But for some reason, it didn't make me feel hopeless.
It made me think.
I drew myself from the side and filled the inside of my head with the thoughts that came from that moment. The words follow the shape of my brain because that is where they were living anyway.
Life is suffering.
There is betrayal, loss, pain, fear, anger, doubt, and things that happen to us that we never asked for.
Sometimes the world can feel meaningless.
But somehow, even knowing all of that, we continue finding reasons to stay.
That contradiction fascinated me.
If life were supposed to be painless, then every terrible experience would feel like evidence that something had gone wrong.
But maybe pain isn't proof that life has failed.
Maybe pain is simply part of being alive.
And if suffering is part of life, then happiness doesn't have to mean the absence of suffering either.
You can hurt and still laugh.
You can lose someone and eventually love someone else.
You can hate where your life is at one moment and be incredibly grateful for it at another.
You can feel completely lost and still eventually find something worth moving toward.
I think that's what I was trying to understand when I painted this.
The sentence “life is suffering” isn't where the thought ends.
For me, the more important question became:
If life contains suffering, what makes it worth continuing anyway?
And I don't think there is one answer.
Sometimes it's another person.
Sometimes it's an animal.
Sometimes it's love.
Sometimes it's a place you haven't seen yet.
Sometimes it's something you haven't created yet.
Sometimes it's something incredibly small that you don't even know is waiting for you tomorrow.
I didn't paint myself with an answer written across my face.
I painted the questions inside my head because I was still trying to understand them.
I think I still am.
Maybe I always will be.
But over time I have realized that meaning isn't necessarily something life automatically gives you.
Sometimes you have to find your own reasons to keep living.